• Home
  • About
  • Work with Me
  • Books
    • The Writer’s Block Myth
    • Flight, A Novel
      • Writing Flight, a Novel
  • Blog
  • Contact

Category: life

Post navigation

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Unexpected Gold

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Heloise Jones
1

Today, I’m in the exact place in between two lives & you may ask which I will choose, unless you’ve been in the in-between place before & then you know to
simply sit quietly until your life chooses you.

~ Brian Andreas (StoryPeople)
*

Gingko on the walkNatural gold
*

I’m in the exact place in between two lives. The mantra solutions.solutions rolling through my mind regularly as counter-balance to whatwegonnado. Life drew a line in the sand for me two weeks ago, which I shared in the last two posts. Stuff I’m thinking I shoulda seen coming, but believed I could call on my own terms. How I want to live, where I want to live, my intentions for work and relationship. And even with the news, I took it slow, listened. But I am not a passive journeyer. It came to me today how the world’s in between lives, too. Deciding who, what, how. What I know for sure is in my deep, deep heart I hope we lift each other up, bring ourselves and each other to our best self. Because we can see each other, even from afar, if we take the time to look. Can even reach out in trust.


And we can see hearts speak the same language. Like filmmaker and artist Yann Arthus-Bertrand did when he asked what makes us human. He spent three years collecting real-life stories from 2,000 women and men in 60 countries. We authors say there are no new stories, they’ve all been told. It’s how we tell them that’s different. Like Life.

Human, extended version Vol. 1 here.

Human, all three volumes here.

 

And we can choose Verbs to live by, like Patti Digh’s Facebook friends chose to counteract terror. Strong answers to fear. It all adds up, she said.
Verb World

I agree. It’s the world I want to live in. The verbs for my life.

I just learned ginkgo trees are considered living fossils, surviving major extinction events. That at least one ginkgo in China is 3,000 years old. Sounds so dramatic, but I feel as if a major extinction event’s occurring inside me right now. It’s not the first time. So I know I can do this. I only need look down, see the natural gold along the footpath.
Just one question….what verbs do you choose?

*

Another small journey. Getting to Wise.
A Writer’s Life.

A favorite:  A truly blue sky.
A secret:  I’ve lived with humidity nearly my entire life. I really dislike humidity, a lot.

photo:  Virginia Rosenberg

 

Click here to subscribe
Posted in life, spirit, strong offers, writers | 1 Reply

I Am Not Neutral on This

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Heloise Jones
4

This is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in that gate— once the crying of confusion stopped— seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies.
~ from the story Gate 4-A by Naomi Shihab Nye
*

Not-in-my-name

Muslims speak out against ISIS and terrorists
*

I’ve been circling ‘round and ‘round the edge of anxiety these past few days. The unspoken terror of the unknowns of livelihood and home in my own life merging with a burgeoning awareness of terror across the globe. Oh Paris, Oh Beirut, Oh Kenya. Oh Turkey, Oh Yemen, Oh Nigeria, added to Oh Gaza, Oh Sandy Hook, Oh Roseburg…my heart exploding with each one. And now sabers rattle, bombers speed aloft. Words of hatred, revenge, calls for arms and Islamaphobia pepper Facebook. ‘Them vs. Us’ flags raised. Borders closed. And in all my reading, the salient fact that less than 2% of attacks were religiously motivated.

I am not neutral on this.

Ya know how Oprah asks what thing you know for sure. I know if not for letting refugees from Syria enter this country, I would not be here. If not for help from what I’m sure was more than one Muslim, I would not be here. My grandparents, Armenian Orthodox Christians, met on the boat as they fled genocide through Aleppo. My mother was a first generation US citizen.

As a young girl, Armenian aunts, uncles, cousins, and those who are family but not blood populated my life. Smells of middle-eastern cookies and breads, melted butter, savory meats and soups filled the house for full weeks before holidays, funerals, and parties where Armenian music played background, people rose to dance in circle at least once. I remember one summer in Boston people crowded a small house shoulder to shoulder for three straight nights, the shock that all those rotating faces were related to me by blood generations deep. And it wasn’t just about family. There were Armenian picnics. Hundreds traveling to gather, play, eat, dance, speak their native tongue to strangers. Words I’d never understand because in my house that language was for my mother and grandmother, their private code in the presence of us kids. Arabic their backup when we caught on. A strange twist that would help sever me from my roots at age nine, when the family split in two. Leave me insistently in search for some spark inside I might recognize whenever I meet another Armenian.

I remember two stories my grandmother told. Small boys hiding under their mothers’ skirts in failed attempts to avoid slaughter. A young cousin taken as wife to a Turkish general who waited a year for the right time to murder him, escape on foot across Turkey to freedom. I read more later, know horrors were kept from my small ears. My brother, thirteen years older, was not spared. He didn’t like it when I traveled in Turkey two years ago. I went to experience the place, the culture, and I wanted to understand why what I know firsthand and from books (including the report from the US Diplomat of the time who resigned in despair) is so different from Turkish claims. I didn’t share I was half-Armenian with our guide. I observed with an open mind, loved what I saw of the country and people. And I listened closely the day he announced he was going to talk about the “Armenian issue.” Got my answer: The events of the entire decade before Armenians sided with Russia in WWI no longer exists in Turkey’s version of history. A partial truth of wartime justification remains, effectively indoctrinated through education. How familiar.

“…we are all in the midst of this every second. we are all held up by a million actions and people and unknowns every moment in utter connection.”
~ Rachel Ballentine

As of this writing, Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Florida, Massachusetts, Michigan, Texas, and North Carolina have banned Syrian refugees. So wrong. Refugees will go thru an arduous process of screening by the state department, will most likely 100% comprise families with children. Refugees who have seen Hell. Because be assured, no person puts his/her child into a boat that’s as likely to sink as make the shore if what they leave is not worse. No person carries a child hundreds of miles on foot to starve or rot by disease if what they leave is not worse. I’ll entertain no arguments these are dangerous times, we must do it. I am not neutral on this. I have no room inside me for fear. Neither does the planet. Do you?

*
Another small journey. Getting to Wise.
A Writer’s Life.

A favorite: The taste of my mother’s lahmajoon, which I found in a small place in Turkey. I ordered two.

*
To reduce fear and understand more about Islam,
join others in thoughtful dialogue (not debate).
Vital Dialogues: An Introduction to Islam and Islamophobia
facilitated by Patti Digh, Nov. 22 – Dec. 13. Details here.

 

Click here to subscribe
Posted in events, family, life, spirit | 4 Replies

Rewriting Stories

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Heloise Jones
4

This is what I ask you. . .Can we ever know true what the good Lord intends?
Can we ever know our part in making it so?
This was always a story about things turned right.
Weren’t never just a story on what’s done wrong.
~ Sarah (FLIGHT, A Novel)

*

Ladder to clouds*

Every Thursday morning while in Santa Fe I go to memoir class. Great exercises and prompts, lessons that serve whether fiction or truth. Not being one for reminiscing, I typically write scenes for my novel in progress rather than traverse my own life. Contemplation of the here and now, insights from the past woven in as far as I usually go if it gets personal. This week was different, tho. Make a list of people you’ve lost. Pets, family, friends. Prioritize. Of course, my parents, number one. Write a paragraph on each. Perfect exercise for a profile in the novel. Oh, yes, mother stuff all over my work. In my first novel, a mother’s sacrifice and it’s aftermath. In my work in progress, a pregnant teen who’s run away, carries a letter to her mother that she adds to regularly over the months. Carefully choosing what she shares of her life further and further from the coal fields she left. Mother stuff.

After I wrote my first novel, I was surprised to see parallels to my own life. How my dad was in a key character. How what happened to the little boy happened to me. My mother and I weren’t especially close. As a child, I frustrated and confused her, she told my husband. You’d ask a question, and while I was thinking of the answer, you’d ask another, she told me. Others said she withdrew from me. Not from her overwhelm with her meticulous, precocious daughter, but to counter the favoritism my father bestowed my way. To balance the seeming denigration of my chubby sister. In my novel Flight, a mother receives a prophecy, withholds herself from her son to make him strong, to prevent his attachment to her so he can fulfill his destiny. And it tears her heart out. I rewrote the story the way I wish it had been. A sacrifice, for me. Not really a choice. And the pregnant teen, her close relationship with her mother. Their camaraderie, comforts. I rewrote that, too. Filled in the holes of my mother’s love, because I know she loved me. Stepping back further, I see I’m rewriting both our stories, hers and mine together. A great wonder that it took so long to fully see it.

Last week I shared my husband lost his job. Has a condition that won’t go away, makes things hard. Days after that our landlord wrote he’s raising our rent 30%, or 62 % if we choose month-to-mouth. A whopping $1100/mt. increase. I planned to move soon, anyway – the place high maintenance, frustration with our non-responsive absentee landlord – but six weeks seems so short a time to find another good home, pack and move. Three nights ago I thought how I could easily claim a ‘hall pass’ for a day off to depression. I went to bed with a short prayer for help. Just before dawn, I dreamed a man came into the room where I was. One of these four watches has something in it, he said. I looked at mine, noticed a raised circle of glass on the crystal. Yes, this is it, see here, he said, scraping a tiny speck of something discolored from the edge. And took the watch away. When he returnee it, I realized he’d removed 1/2 oz. of gold. You took my gold, I accused, trying to figure how much he owed me. No response. Done, gone. And when I woke, I got it. Don’t give away the gold of my time.

That afternoon, on an errand at the railyard, I stood looking at the sky, the cottonwoods, feeling the dry cool breeze, listening to the sweetest accordion music. Classical notes that rendered the air heavenly. Not like accordion, at all. Taking my time to be here now. I crossed the tracks, gave the young man a few dollars. Lovely, thank you, I said. He tilted his head so his hair fell across his face, smiled. I’m happy to be here, he replied. Yeah, me, too, I thought. And it came to me. If I can rewrite stories of my childhood without intention, I can rewrite the story now spinning my head sideways now. I’m gonna be alright.

Tell me. . .what stories would you rewrite?

Another small journey. Getting to Wise.
A Writer’s Life.
*

A favorite:  Surprise gifts.
A secret:  I ask for help nearly every day.

Click here to subscribe
Posted in events, family, life, spirit, writing | 4 Replies

Boomerangs from the Universe

Posted on November 4, 2015 by Heloise Jones
3

To awaken alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest experiences
in the whole world.
~ Freya Stark
*

lieke03
*

What a strange week. I shoulda guessed that super moon rising through the clouds as I drove from Ojo Caliente hot springs held something more than mesmerizing beauty. I emerged from the valley seemingly overgrown with cottonwoods blazing yellow-gold just as dark descended. Cruised through the short stretch on the outskirts of Espanola, crossed the Rio Grande, was headed home. Got caught on a sideways glance. The moon so huge, brilliant, I pulled to the side of the highway, barely noticed cars whizzing by. That night I didn’t sink into bed like I usually do after a Ojo soak. Instead I stayed up, wrote a blog, retired at 3am. The next morning I rose early, feeling strangely rested for so little sleep. By Wed., cold and stingy rain moved in, energies turned weird. A trip to the market, three people nearly collided with me as I stood choosing food, as if I was invisible. I settled in. Planned work and research went undone. 6+ hrs. online with Microsoft to re-install Skype so I could say Happy Birthday to my grandson produced nothing but a corrupted hard drive and no Skype. I wanted to rewind, recover my days. Then, like a boomarang, the Universe swung around. I was buoyed by a rendezvous Friday with new friends met my first day here. Two other people at a workshop on traditional publishing I felt compelled to go to Saturday (though I’ve studied the industry for eight years, delivered a presentation on the subject at a Florida Writers Assoc. meeting) became friends over a long breakfast Monday. Sunday I celebrated a birthday and marriage with a best friend and her family. Monday, dinner with the first person I met when I moved to Santa Fe in ’94. Tuesday, lunch with another new friend.

Elizabeth Gilbert posted the quote at the top of page on Facebook, added “just for the pleasure dreaming, let’s all name today the one place in the world where we would someday love to wake up alone.” Key words – dreaming, some day, alone. As of 1pm EST, it had 3,355 Likes, 502 Shares, 430 Comments. I scrolled 100 comments, all by woman. Eighty focused solely on quiet moments. Listening to a breeze, watching water, reading, contemplation, strolls on the grounds, peace inside. Twenty added exploration and adventure. I understand it all. The desire for space with uninterrupted thoughts, with no distractions, obligations, or others pulling. Space to dream without guilt. The need for comforts. The added delight of discovery, awe and inspiration in the new. The whole ball in one dream of coming back to yourself, living your own definition of what that means.

Today I leave this house I’ve occupied nearly five weeks. I’ll miss the multitude of potted plants, the large windows, watching strips of salmony-pink and otherworldly blue flatten onto the far mountains under a lightening dawn sky. Miss the birds, animal visitors. Especially miss the utter silence outside my own thoughts and movement, the occasional rain or wind. And I’m glad to leave the quirks of the place, the collections of colorful toys, sculpture, textiles, aged South American pottery that cover surfaces, fill shelves and cupboards. Happy to be moving to the northside where I spend my time out, where I can walk to the plaza. I want to believe the traffic sounds buffeting the silence there are simply gentle acclimation to re-entry Florida in two weeks, where there’s not a moment’s respite from noise at home.

Last night I learned my husband lost his job. A big loss in a year with a fraction of usual income. That he’s dealing with something physical, and it won’t go away, that it makes things hard. It all really sucks. But I handled things differently this time. Decided not to be scared, or worry. And I couldn’t do that had I not experienced these weeks living the dream of time and space the women on EG’s post hold. Woven with this strange week concluding in a tribe for me. Which helped me ask for support in thought on Facebook, take heart from the tribe there. Opening my mind to what I can offer to another tribe to generate income. Turning this scary situation into a better conversation about life.
Tell me, how has life woven you to this place?

Another small journey. Getting to Wise.
A Writer’s Life

bear & tea*

A favorite:  Silence and solitude, with tea.
A secret:  Vulnerability still feels wiggly.

Illustrations by Lieke van der Vorst
 

Click here to subscribe
Posted in events, life, spirit | 3 Replies

Buddha-Made Teapots

Posted on October 27, 2015 by Heloise Jones
5

Imagine your tea cup is three thousand years old,
it was made in Egypt by a High Priestess
during a magical ceremony
to bless and infuse every cup of tea with celestial healing.

Imagine you had to scale
fifty foot cliffs for your honey
and carry it down on your back.

Imagine you dug the earth
and prayed and weeded
and danced and harvested
and chaffed and ground and kneaded
and baked the wheat for your bread.

Imagine you fed your beautiful
brown eyed cow nice grass
and you milked her and you churned
the cream and sand the Come Butter Come Song
and you paddled the butter into its mold
and this is the butter for your toast.

Imagine you walked to Tibet from here
and you gathered the tea in your skirt on a steep
windy hillside, and then you
dried the tea in the sun for days
watching over it, you slept beside it
at night under a full moon.

Imagine the Buddha made your teapot.
He gathered the clay by the banks of the Ganges
and fashioned a teapot just for you
and built a fire of sandalwood to fire it in, and he walked
to Nepal to get the turquoise he ground for the glaze for your
teapot and on it he painted a Lotus flower.

Imagine now, there are angels singing to you because
You are so loved, now, while you are having tea with cream,
and toast, with butter and honey.
Enjoy.
~ Rachel Ballantine (Tea and Toast)
*

Chama

Chama River Valley – October 23, 2015
*

I have a present for you, she said, and pulled out a book she created. We sat outside eating giant cinnamon buns under the shelter at Tesuque Market, a pinon fire in an oven behind us barely cutting the almost too chill air. Noon, a time I’m not usually there. The small parking lot full, muddy with big puddles from the cold rain we’d had off and on for three days. I’ll read you a poem, she said.

I met Rachel on Facebook. She constantly has me chuckling with her stories, her sense of humor, wit, observations. We planned to meet last year but she couldn’t make it. This past winter she noted my interest incorporating bodywork in writing workshops, sent me a book for study. It arrived with a book of her poetry. This summer I got a 505 area code call, knew it was New Mexico, no one I knew. I want your opinion, she said. We talked for an hour. Last Friday I picked her up at the Santa Fe Train Depot, offered a day in town or a drive in the country. She opted for the drive. It turned out to be a gift to both of us. She needed escape from noise and place. I needed something perfect. We rode under splendid skies through the spectacular pattern and color of New Mexico countryside, the horizon clear, haze washed away. Drank in jewels of light sparkling on Abiquiu Lake, and blazing yellow-gold cottonwoods in sunshine, their bark like brown-black charcoal drawings amongst the color. We both felt fed, satisfied when I dropped her off. The next day I stepped out on the porch to the delicate fragrance of the live piñon trees spread out before me. Rare in the desert where the air’s so dry smells have little to cling to. Felt like a blessing.

Rachel shared this about the day: The Train Trip and The Fourth Dimensional Puzzle, or, A Harmonic Convergence. . .“it was my intent to take a train to see a friend and so all of the cosmos lined up for it to happen, from the past, from everywhere. I wore my grandmother’s Zuni earrings that my grandfather bought at Zuni from a ten year old boy, they were his first pair he ever made. that was in 1930. I wore my new jeans , made in Bangeldesh. I bought gasoline, where did that come from. the nice lady from Mexico at Lotaburger made my burrito, where did the beans, the flour come from. where did the coffee come from. I was grateful. I drove to the train station listening to Alice Cooper on my cassette player ‘I like the way you crawl across the cathouse floor’. At the station I think about the train tracks in the sun, who made them, who set them. who built the train? who wove the seat covers? watching the landscape I love the adobe houses and heard a woman behind me from New York City say ‘look those houses are so drab, so homely,’ I thought we take ourselves with us wherever we go. I met a nice lady who said she will buy my book. anyway my point is that when you have an intent all things converge like a giant web or fourth dimensional puzzle to make it happen. we are all in the midst of this every second. we are all held up by a million actions and people and unknowns every moment in utter connection. think about it!”

Yes! Exactly. And how many times have we done something never knowing what it means to either ourselves or another person? I questioned myself offering a ride in the country as I said the words. But it seemed right, and in fact, was exactly right. I can only think more was involved than random thoughts. It’s happened to you, too, right?

Another small journey. Getting to Wise.
A Writer’s Life.
*

Rachel

I love Rachel’s book, Recipoetry of a Kitchen Mystic, A Cookbook Scrapbook.
It’s a beauty of poetry, recipes, handpainted and collage pages. Get it here.
*

A favorite:  Tea and toast for breakfast. Really.
A secret:  I’d noticed her earrings, studied them. The turquoise, silver squash blossom.

 

Click here to subscribe
Posted in events, life, nature, spirit, strong offers, writers | 5 Replies

Post navigation

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Archives

As seen on
As seen on
Get in touch

Home | about me | work with me | best offers | blog | event | connect
Photo Credits [ Heloise: Ken Wilson ]
© 2025 HeloiseJones.com - All rights reserved.

MENU
  • Home
  • About
  • Work with Me
  • Books
    • The Writer’s Block Myth
    • Flight, A Novel
      • Writing Flight, a Novel
  • Blog
  • Contact